What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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