What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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