What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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