What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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