What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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