What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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