What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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