What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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