What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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