What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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