What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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