What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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