What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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