What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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