What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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