What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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