What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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