What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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