What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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