What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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