What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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