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What runs around a yard without moving?
A fence.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?
A buff-a-loan
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?
"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?
With tomato paste.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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