What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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