What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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