What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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