What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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