What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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