What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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