What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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