What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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