What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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