What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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