What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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