What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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