What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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