What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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