What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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