What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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