What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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