What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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