What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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