What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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