What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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