What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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