What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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