What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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