What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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