What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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