What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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