What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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