What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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