What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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