What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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