What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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