What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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