What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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