What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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