What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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