What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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