What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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