What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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