What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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