What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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