What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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