What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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