What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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