What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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