What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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