What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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