What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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