What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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