What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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