What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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