What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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