What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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