What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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