What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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