What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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