What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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