What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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