What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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