What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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