What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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