What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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