What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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