What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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