What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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