What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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