What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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