What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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