What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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