What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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