What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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