What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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