What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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