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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
An envelope.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try and try and try-ceratops
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What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would go up.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?
What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?
If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?
A waist of time!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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