What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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