What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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