What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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