What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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