What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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