What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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