What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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