What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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