What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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