What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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