What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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