What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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