What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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