What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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