What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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