What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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