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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
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What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, it just waved.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?
She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?
One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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