What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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