What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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