What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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