What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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