What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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