What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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