What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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