What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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