What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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