What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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