What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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