What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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