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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?
A crossing guard.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.
Those who read binary and those who don't.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.
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Why was the ant so confused?
Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?
Every year!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the computer squeak?
Someone stepped on its mouse.
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