What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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