What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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