What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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