What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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