What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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