What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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