What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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