What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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