What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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