What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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