What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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