What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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