What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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