What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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