What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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