What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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