What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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