What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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