What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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