What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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