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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?
Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Went to the corner shop -
bought 4 corners.
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Why did the calendar write its will?
Its days were numbered.
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