What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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