What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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