What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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