What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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