What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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