What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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