What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!


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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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