What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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