What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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