What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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