What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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