What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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