What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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