What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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