What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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