What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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