What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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