What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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