What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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