What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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