What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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