What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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