What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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