What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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