What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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