What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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