What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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