What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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