What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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