What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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