What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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