What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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