What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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