What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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