What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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