What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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