What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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