What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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