What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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