What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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