What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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