What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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