What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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