What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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