What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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