What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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