What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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