What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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