What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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