What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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