What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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