What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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