What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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