What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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