What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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