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What two things can you not have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?
A car
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A Flat Major
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?
Because he never pays his debts.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"
Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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