What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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