What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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