What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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