What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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