What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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