What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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