What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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