What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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