What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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