What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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