What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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