What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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