What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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