What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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