What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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