What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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