What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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