What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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