What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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