What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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