What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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