What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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