What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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