What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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