What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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