What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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