What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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