What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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