What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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