What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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