What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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