What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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