What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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