What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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