What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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