What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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