What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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