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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
He was catching all the chickens!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?
Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Hope it's Halloween!!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.
He had in his own pews.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?
You go to the Library!
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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?
It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the cow go to outer space?
To visit the milky way.
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