What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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