What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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