What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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