What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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