What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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