What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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