What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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