What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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