What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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