What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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