What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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