What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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