What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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