What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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