What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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