What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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