What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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