What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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