What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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