What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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