What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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