What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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