What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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