What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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