What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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