What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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