What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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