What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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