What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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