What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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