What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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