What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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