What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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