What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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