What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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