What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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