What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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