What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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