What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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