What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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