What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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