What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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