What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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