What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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