What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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