What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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