What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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