What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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