What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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