What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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