What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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