What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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