What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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