What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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