What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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