What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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