What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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