What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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