What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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