What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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