What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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