What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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