What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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