What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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