What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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