What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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