What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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