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What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?
Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, because they were copycats
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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Why is b always cool?
Because it's between ac.
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What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,
I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
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