What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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