What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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