What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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