What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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