What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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