What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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