What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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