What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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