What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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