What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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