What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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