What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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