What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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