What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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