What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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