What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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