What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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