What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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