What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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