What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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