What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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