What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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