What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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