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What would you call a humorous knee?
Fun-ny!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?
Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Old chemists never die,
they just stop reacting.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you're a mouse.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?
The banana split
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.
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