What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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