What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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