What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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