What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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