What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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