What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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