What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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