What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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