What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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