What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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