What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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