What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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