What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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