What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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