What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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