What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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