What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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