What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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