What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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