What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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