What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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