What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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