What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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