What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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