What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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