What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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