What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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