What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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