What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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