What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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