What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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