What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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