What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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