What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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