What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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