What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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