What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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