What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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