What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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