What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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