What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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