What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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