What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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