What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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