What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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