What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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