What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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