What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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