What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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