What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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