What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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