What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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