What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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