What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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