What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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