What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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