What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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