What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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