What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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