What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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