What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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