What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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