What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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