What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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