What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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