What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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