What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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