What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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