What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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