What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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