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What's a light-year?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do Russians use for napkins?
Soviets
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
Because of the bark
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?
The sound of Mew-sic
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?
He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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