What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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