What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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