What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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