What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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