What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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