What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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