What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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