What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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