What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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