What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

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