What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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