What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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