What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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