What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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