What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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