What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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