What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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