What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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