What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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