What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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