What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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