What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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