What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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