What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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