What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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