What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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