What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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