What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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