What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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