What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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