What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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