What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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