What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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