What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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