What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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