What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.

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