What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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