What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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