What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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