What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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