What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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