What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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