What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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