What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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