What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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