What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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