What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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