What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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