What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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