What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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