What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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