What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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