What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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