What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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