What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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