What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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