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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
Booberries!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?
Cell phones
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,
he's bisatchel.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?
Mice krispies
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?
1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs
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