What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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