What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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