What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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