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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?
"The erection is rigged!"
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What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A buck.
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