What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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