What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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