What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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