What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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