What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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