What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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