What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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