What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!

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