What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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