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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,
What a turtle disaster
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What can you hold without using your hands?
Your breath!
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What do you call a messy hippo?
A hippopota-mess
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,
but it was a little Chewie.
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