What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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