What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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