What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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