What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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