What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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