What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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