What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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