What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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