What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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