A sunburnt zebra.
or
They wear snowcaps.
or
Woody the Wood Pickle.
or
Camelflauge
or
The chicken wasn't around yet.
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None; assholes never see the light anyway.
or
They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
or
Tweetment.
or