What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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