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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?
Oinkment.
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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a total rip-off.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
There was an empty seat.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check
It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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