What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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