What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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