What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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