What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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