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What's black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?
Saliva
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
Because he was bald!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
Snowflakes.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??
None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
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