What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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