What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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