What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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