What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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