What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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