What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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