What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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