What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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