What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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