What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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