What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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