Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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