Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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