Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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