What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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