What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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