What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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