What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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