What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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