What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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