What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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