What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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