What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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