What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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