What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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