What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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