What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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