What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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