What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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