What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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