What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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