What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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