What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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