What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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