What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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