What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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