What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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