What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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