What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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