What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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