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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?
Super Pickle!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where do you put barking dogs?
In a barking lot.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,
it was a shitzu."
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.
So I went - and I got it.
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