What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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