What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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