What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!

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