What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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