What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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