What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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