What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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