What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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