What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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