What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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