What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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