What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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