What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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