What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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