What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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