What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.


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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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