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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?
Super Pickle!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?
Make sure one is a match!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?
None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the g
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What is a lion's favorite state?
Maine
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?
Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a rash.
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