What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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