What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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