What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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