What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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