What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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