What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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