What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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