What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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