What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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