What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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