What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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