What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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