What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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