What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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