What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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