What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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