What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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