What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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