What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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