What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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