What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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