What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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