What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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