What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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