What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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