What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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