What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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