What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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