What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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