What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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