What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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