What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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