What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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