What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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