What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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