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What's in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
Bison
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
[De-Calf-Inated]
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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What did the boat say to the pier?
What's up, dock?
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