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What's in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?
A jellycopter
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A taxi driver.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?
Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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How do you open the great lakes?
With the Florida Keys.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing.
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