What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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