What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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