What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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