What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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