What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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