What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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