What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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