What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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