What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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