What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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