What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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