What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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