What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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