What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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