What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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