What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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