What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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