What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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