What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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