What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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