What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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