What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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