What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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