What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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