What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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