What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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