What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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