What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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