What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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