What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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