What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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