What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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