What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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