What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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