What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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