What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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