What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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