What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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