What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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