What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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