What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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