What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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