What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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