What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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