What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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