What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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