What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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