What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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