What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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