What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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