What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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