What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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