What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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