What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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