What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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