What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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