What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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