What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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