What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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