What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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