What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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