What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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