What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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