What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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