What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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