What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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