What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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