What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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