What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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