What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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