What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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