What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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