What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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