What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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