What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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