What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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