What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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