What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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