What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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