What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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