What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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