What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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