What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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