What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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