What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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