What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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