What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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