What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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