What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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