What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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