What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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