What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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