What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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