What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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