What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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