What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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