What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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