What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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