What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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