What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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