What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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