What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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