What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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