What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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