What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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