What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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