What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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