What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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