What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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