What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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