What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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