What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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