What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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