What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.

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