What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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