What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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