What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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