What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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