What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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