What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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