What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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