What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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