What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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