What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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