What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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