What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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