What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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