What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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