What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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