What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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