What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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