What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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