What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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