What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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