What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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