What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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