What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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