What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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