What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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