What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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