Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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