Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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