Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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