Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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