Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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