Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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