Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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