Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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