Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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