Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"


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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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