Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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