Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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