Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon


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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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