Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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