Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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