Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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