Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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