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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?
One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did Bach have so many children?
He did not have a stop on his organ.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?
Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?
Beef jerky
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling well!
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