Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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