Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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