What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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