What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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