What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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