What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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