What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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