What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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