What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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