What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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