What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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