What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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