What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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