What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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