What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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