What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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