What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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