What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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