What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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