What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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