What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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