What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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