What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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