What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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