What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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