What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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