What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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