What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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