What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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