What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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