What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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