What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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