What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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