What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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