What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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