What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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