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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
Holly Davidson.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.
But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Went to the paper shop -
it had blown away.
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