What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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