What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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