What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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