What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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