What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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