What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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