What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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