What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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