What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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