What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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