What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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