What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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