What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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