What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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