What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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