What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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