What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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