What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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