What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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