What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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