What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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