What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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