What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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