What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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