What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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