What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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