What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.

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