What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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