What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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