What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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