What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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