What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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