What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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