What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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