What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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