What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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