What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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