What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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