What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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