What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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