What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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