What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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