What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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