What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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