What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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