What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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