What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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