What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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