What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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