What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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