What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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