What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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