What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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