What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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