What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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