What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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