What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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