What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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