What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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