What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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