What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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