What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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