What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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