What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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