What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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