What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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