What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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