What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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