What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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