What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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