What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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