What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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