What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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