What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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