What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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