What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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