What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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