What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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