What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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