What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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