What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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