What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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