What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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