What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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