What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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