What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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