What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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