What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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