What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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