What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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