What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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