What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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