What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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