What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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