What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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