What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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