What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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