What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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