What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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