What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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