What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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