What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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