What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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