What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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