What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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