What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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