What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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