What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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