What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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