What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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