What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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