A sponge!
or
A traffic jam.
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Because 7 ate 9.
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To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
or
Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
or
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
or