What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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