What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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