What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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