What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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