What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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