What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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