What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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