What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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