What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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