What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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