What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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