What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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