What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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