What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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