What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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