What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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