What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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