What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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