What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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