What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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