What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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