What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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