What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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