What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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