What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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