What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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