What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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