What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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