What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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