What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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