What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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