What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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