What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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