What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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