What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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