What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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