What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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