What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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