What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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