What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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