What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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