What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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