What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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