What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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