What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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