What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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