What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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