What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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