What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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