What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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