What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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