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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where do you put barking dogs?
In a barking lot.
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Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?
2 years old.
Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?
A kitten.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?
The sound of Mew-sic
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Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they are black and white.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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