What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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