What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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