What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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