What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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