What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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