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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the clock do after it ate?
It went back four seconds!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?
A bed.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?
With igloo!
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What can you hold without using your hands?
Your breath!
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What's a royal pardon?
It's what the queen says after she burps.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It’s Hans free.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??
None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
Bison
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