What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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