What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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