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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.
A cow on a skateboard.
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What goes up and down but never moves?
Stairs.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
BaNa2
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na
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