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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,
What a turtle disaster
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?
He was caught stealing second base.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?
Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?
Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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