What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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