What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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