What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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