What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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