What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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