What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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