What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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