What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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