What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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