What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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