What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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