What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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