What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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