What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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