What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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