What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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