What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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