What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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