What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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