What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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