What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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