What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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