What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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