What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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