What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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