What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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