What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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