What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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