What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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