What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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