What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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