What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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