What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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