What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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