What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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