What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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