What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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