What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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