What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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