What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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