What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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