What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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