What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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