What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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