What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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