What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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