What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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