What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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