What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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