What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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