What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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