What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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