What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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