What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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