What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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