What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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