What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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