What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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