What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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