What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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