What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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