What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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