What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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