What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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