What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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