What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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