What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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