What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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