What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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