What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.

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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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