What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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