What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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