What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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