What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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