What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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