What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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