What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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