What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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