What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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