What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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