What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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