What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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