What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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