What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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