What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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