What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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