What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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