What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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