What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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