What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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