What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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