What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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