What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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