What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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