What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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