What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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