What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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