What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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