What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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