What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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