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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?
Snowflakes.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?
They both come in tots.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?
No way Hose A.
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Where do orcas hear music?
Orca-stras
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