What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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