What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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