What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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