What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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