What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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