What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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