What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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