What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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