What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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