What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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