What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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