What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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