What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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