What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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