What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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