What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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