What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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