What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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