What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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