What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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