What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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