What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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