What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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