What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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