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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a rash.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a mad elephant?
An earthquake.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.
So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...
Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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