What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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