What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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