What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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