What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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