What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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