What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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