What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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