What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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