What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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