What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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