What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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