What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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