What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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