What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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