What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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