What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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