What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.

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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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