What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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