What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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