What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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