What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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