What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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