What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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