What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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