What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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