What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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