What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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