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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?
He was caught stealing second base.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, it just waved.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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