What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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