What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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