What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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