What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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