What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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