What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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