What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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