What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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