What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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