What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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