What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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