What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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