What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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