What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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