What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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