What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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