What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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