What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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