What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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