What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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