What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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