What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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