What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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