What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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