What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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