What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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