What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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