What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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