What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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