What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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