What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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