What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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