What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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