What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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