What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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