What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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