What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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