What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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