What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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