What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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