What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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