What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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