What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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