What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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