What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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