What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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