What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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