What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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