What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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