What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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