What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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