What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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