What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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