What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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