What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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