What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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