What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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