What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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