What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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