What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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