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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?
Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the belt go to jail?
It held up a pair of pants.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?
Five after one.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.
The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?
When the door is open.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?
Shocked.
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