What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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