What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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