What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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