What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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