What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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