What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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