What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!

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