What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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