What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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