What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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