What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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