What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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