What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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