What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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