What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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