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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.
Blue sky at night: day.
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What can you hold without using your hands?
Your breath!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
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Why is slippery ice like music?
If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!
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What is the strongest animal?
A snail because it carries it's home.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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