What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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