What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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