What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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