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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?
Spooketi
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?
They both come in tots.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?
By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?
Happy Owl-ween!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...
all that was left was de brie.
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What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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How does a train sneeze?
Ah-choo-choo!
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