What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.

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