What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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