What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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