What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
Canvas not available.

or


What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

Canvas not available.

or


How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

Canvas not available.

or


What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
Canvas not available.

or


Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

Canvas not available.

or


I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

Canvas not available.

or


What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
Canvas not available.

or


How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
Canvas not available.

or


Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
Canvas not available.

or


How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026