What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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