What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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