What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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