What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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