What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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