What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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