What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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