What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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