What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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