What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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