What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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