What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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