What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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