What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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