What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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