What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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