What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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