What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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