What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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