What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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