What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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