What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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