What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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