What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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