What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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