What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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