What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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