What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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