What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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