What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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