What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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