What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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