What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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